FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF “SO, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!”

So I hear about a free Hot Yoga class, and I remember that my friend Greg did some of this Hot Yoga stuff a few months ago, and, well, he’s still alive, so … feeling a wee bit adventurous, I decide, “Hey, okay! Let’s give it a shot!” Famous last words.
Now here I am, with thirty women, none of whom I can see through the perspiration that’s running into my eyes. All I can tell is that I’m surrounded by a bunch of blurry figures. And even without the sweat, I’m squinting from the pain and the effort, and I’m grunting and gasping and I can’t see the instructor through the sweat, so I’m trying to follow what the person next to me is doing, and my eyes are burning and my body is screaming “Stop! Get the f… outta here!” Because, of course, it’s HOT! Now I’m from the tropics, but this was HOTTT! Holy heat wave, Batman! Hose me down and drag me outta here by my ankles … please!
And on and on it goes: All the other people are breathing calmly together, and I’m panting away at twice their speed. At one point I nearly pass out. And all along, I’m questioning my sanity and trying for the life of me to remember what possessed me to even think of trying this.
So, fast forward to THE END. A bell rings three times, everybody says “Namaste,” and the instructor says to get up when you’re ready. All the ladies pitter-patter outta there rapido-presto and I can’t move. So I decide that I’m going to spend the night right there on my mat. She said get up when you’re ready, right? So I’ll be ready some time tomorrow, thank you. Except, of course, that it’s HOT! I gotta get outta here!

 

I lurch and wobble to the dressing room, probably looking very drunk, but I’m not. And as I start cooling down, I start feeling big-time … what’s that? It’s like … yeah, SERENITY! I’m feeling … happy … and all the regular aches and pains are gone, and I’m getting that “I love everybody! Life is great!” vibe. And this is with no booze! I wanna sing and dance! (But I don’t, of course.) And I just KNOW I’m gonna sleep great tonight.
So … on the way out, I put my money down and sign up for more classes. My next post will probably be from a stretcher in the Emergency Ward of a hospital, but dammit, I’m gonna be SO SERENE. And that’s that. Thank You and Good night. Out.

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6 thoughts on “FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF “SO, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!”

  1. See, you understand now! The line is fine between love and hate in Hot Yoga.. Mentally and Physically draining all the bad and non-important stuff !! Congratulations 🙂 Keep on blogging please !

    • Marjorie, I didn’t understand it that way until I read your comment. I’ve just been showing up and following the instructions and demonstrations and feeling good WHEN IT’S OVER … and sometimes even DURING the classes now! Your observation makes perfect sense and rings true for me. Thanks for your insight and big thanks for posting the first comment here. For the record, I’ve known about yoga for years, of course, but I think the first time I heard of hot yoga was from you and Greg. And okay, I promise, more to follow …

      Namaste

  2. Good stuff brother! Hilarious! I hope you can interest more people to do Yoga for it brings me such peace and serenity as well. Peace and love. Chris

    • Thanks, Chris. You know I’m not trying to promote anything here. If someone asks me about hot yoga, I’m happy to relate my experiences, but I will not explicitly recommend this to anyone. Why? Because after the first ten minutes of a class, they’ll want to kill me!

      That being said, others have observed some changes in me and a few friends have come along with me or found their way into it on their own, which I think is cool.

      Right now, I’m remembering you and me showing each other yoga positions and sequences in the parking lot of the donut store a few weeks ago. The younger me would have been flabbergasted to see that! May we both enjoy much peace and serenity going forward.

      Namaste, Dude!

    • Thank you, Christine. You just struck a spark over here:

      Awesomeness is other people.

      Yeah, I like that. I think that’ll be my new “thing.” Awesomeness is other people … and you’re one of those. Thanks for reblogging. I didn’t know what that meant until I looked at what you did, and I don’t understand what the implications are, but that’s some awesomeness right there. Thanks!

      Namaste

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