Jusqu’à date, c’est ma posture preferrée. Je n’ai pas encore tombé en le faisant.
(Very Important Note: Women can be Vegan Yoga Dudes, too. This is written in stone but as always, I’m open to discussion or debate.)
The first version of this “How To …” elicited a comment which made me reflect and reconsider. As a result, I’ve changed it up a bit. The new thing allows for temporary states of Vegan Yoga Dudeness. It’s an inclusive program: there’s room for all in this tent.
1. Say “I am a vegan yoga dude” before or after eating something that is not meat, fish, eggs or dairy. You can also say it between mouthfuls, but only after swallowing. Don’t talk with your mouth full.
2. Say “Namaste.” Ideally to another human being, if anyone’s around. If not, say it to your dog, your cat or the fridge.
3. Do any form of yoga whatsoever. You can even just mimic and make fun of whatever you think yoga looks like, and hey! make jokes while you do it, too! Strike a pose. “Hey, look! Sideways cow!* Ha ha ha!” Go wild; it’s all good. If you say you’re doing yoga, then you’re doing yoga, according to the Vegan Yoga Dude guidelines.
4. Right up until your next intake of meat, fish, eggs or dairy you will be a temporary Vegan Yoga Dude. Rock that Dudeness. (That’s the action step right there, okay? Rock your Vegan Yoga Dudenesss.)
That’s it. Congratulations.
*Thanks, Franklin, for the “sideways cow” thing. I like that.
(Note: Women can be Vegan Yoga Dudes, too.)
1. Say “I am a vegan yoga dude.”
2. Integrate the word “dude” into as many conversations as possible.
3. Skip the meat, fish, poultry, eggs and dairy. (If you’re a Canadian, you can start this part tomorrow, so by all means, go ahead and enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner. You’re welcome.)
4. Do yoga. (There are many videos available on YouTube.)
Congratulations: You are a full-fledged Vegan Yoga Dude. Carry on.
In the thirteen days since I began this blog, it has been read by people in 12 countries on five continents. Trinidad is merely 11 kilometers off the coast of Venezuela, so if I wanted to stretch the truth I might include South America and say six continents. It has triggered a few stimulating conversations both online and offline.
And so what, you might ask. And I’d agree. So what?
I don’t have an answer to that.
Here’s the list of countries:
Trinidad and Tobago
So that happened.
I don’t think this is earth-shattering (I’ve seen other ventures—not mine—expand much further and more quickly), and it actually makes me a bit nervous (so what do I do now?) but I’d like to put the following spin on it:
I procrastinated forever before starting this. If you’ve been thinking of starting something, there’s no time like now. Start. You’ll never know what’s going to happen unless you start. Summon up all your mojo and make your move. Step up to the edge and jump and see what happens. At the very least you’ll learn something. Good luck.
And that right there is probably about as explicitly inspirational as it’s ever going to get with me here, folks. If you can find any other inspiration in this ongoing reporting venture as I explore Vegan Yoga Dudeness, then that’s great. I’ll be attempting to stick to “Just the facts. M’am.” (We’ll see how long that lasts.)
Until recently, I had no interest in yoga. When I was physically active, I’d always done something aerobic with lots of impact and bouncing, like running, or, well, aerobics. Yoga was for those other people: people who … did yoga. The word itself made me think of incense and exotic music and hippies and Indian words like chakra.
Last year I met Christa, a fellow editor, for only the second time in person. We’d met years earlier at a conference, at which she led a workshop on Yoga for Editors. I didn’t understand why editors, or for that matter anybody in their right mind, would bother with all that twisting and bending. I didn’t participate in the workshop, but I remember seeing Christa doing one of those impossible-looking bending-backwards-till-your-hands-touch-the-floor moves. I thought the whole thing was a bit unusual, if not a little loopy. Why would any sane person do that? It just looked so … painful.
Last year when we met again, it was still months before I’d started this new hot yoga thing, and I had never done a yoga class or even tried a yoga pose at this point. I had mentioned on the phone that I’d recently gone vegan to lower my cholesterol levels. When we met for coffee at a busy restaurant, Christa insisted on showing me a few yoga poses and moves that were supposed to help reduce cholesterol. Right there, right away, in the restaurant. Her son Yarrow and her friend Stan calmly ignored us and kept chatting while we walked around and around looking for some space to do whatever it was we were going to do.
I don’t remember much other than being down on the floor beside Christa, both of us in the push-up or plank position, and listening intently to her instructions and following along with whatever moves she was doing, and watching the waitress’s feet going back and forth a few inches from our faces. That’s a pleasant and funny memory for me, that visual of those feet going back and forth almost under my nose. It might not have been that much fun for the poor waitress, however.
Christa, you planted a few seeds that day, there, down on the floor in the coffee shop. Thank you again. That was my first-ever experience of doing yoga. I’m sure few in my yoga class, or anywhere, can say their introduction to yoga was on the floor of a busy coffee shop. And, not that she’ll ever read this, but apologies again to the waitress, who was very sweet about it. I’m not entirely sure about that last bit, but at least nobody kicked us. I’m sure about that.
More to follow. Namaste
Newsflash! Oh, snap! The mojo has left the dojo! Zounds!
Flash forward to four months after my first Hot Yoga class. So far, no trips to the Emergency Ward, and I’m enjoying a new, deeper level of serenity as I go about my daily business. There’s this curious … thing, however, involving some pretty far-reaching serenity of a kind I did not expect … extending far beyond the areas where I thought I’d experience such … peace. Let’s call it … full-body serenity.
For the record, I’d noticed a significant uptick on the zesty frisky scale when I began practising Hot Yoga, and I’ve read that this is pretty much the norm. I’m a wee bit surprised, therefore, at how amazingly calm the seas have become, recently. I’m not panicking over it, just … observing and pondering.
Now this might not sound like a ringing endorsement of Hot Yoga or a plant-based diet (and I’m not trying to promote either, here), but let’s all stay calm, and please try to avoid jumping to conclusions. Bear with me, and read on: I’m convinced it has nothing to do with the Hot Yoga or veganism, which I believe are great for us, even in that department. Please read that sentence again.
I’m sure that much of this might be due to the fact that I still smoke. Yes, a vegan yoga dude who smokes! I know, I know … I’m heading out shortly to a Quit Smoking Group meeting …
Age is also most certainly a factor, and I know the testosterone level began its gradual descent towards the runway ages ago.
A curious thing is that this new development really feels like a blessing, rather than a problem, and here’s why. I’m frankly delighted that I’m not 18 any more, when it seemed that every passing breeze would get me all revved up and … driven to distraction. I enjoyed that time of my life, but I’m grateful that those days of semi-permanent excitation are over for me. To every thing there is a season, and so forth.
So! Now that All Is Quiet On The Western Front, what to do?
Well, I and my reproductive system have already done our part for the survival of the species. At this stage of my journey, the only purpose of this area of human activity is simply recreation, right? I’m just as happy with the absence of the usual reactions to all the in-my-face sexual stimuli in the environment, the incessant demands on my attention and the ensuing automatic wild sparks of lusty zestiness, as I go about my life. That spell seems to have been broken.
So, again, what am I going to do about this state of affairs?
I’ll post as soon as I’ve answered that for myself. For now it’s just full speed ahead with the Hot Yoga and the plant-based diet. Namaste, everybody.
More to follow (I promise). Thank you and Good Night. Out.